Apples for Gypsies: 7 things about Me

“Isn’t it strange? The same people who laugh at gypsy fortune tellers take economists seriously.”

It looks like I was tagged with this meme by David Harry, known as @thegypsy on twitter to write a post elaborating on 7 facts about myself. Although his name always gets me thinking about Gogol Bordello, he has been a good inspiration to me recently in being less controversial and more focused on “just the facts, ma’am”. Well.. here are some interesting facts about me.

I started working at age 14 on an Apple Orchard

That’s right, it was a U-pick apple farm in Oak Glen, called Riley’s Log Cabin and Orchard. I worked there every fall for 4 years, as a jack of all trades. From parking cars, running the grill, leading tours, helping people press their own cider, teaching archery, Tomahawk throwing (I’m deadly at 7 paces), and Knife Throwing.

Despite my “Pale Face”, I am Native American

The first question I always get when I talk about  this is “Do you have a casino or stacks of cash?”. No. I don’t. Unfortunately, my tribe has had issues getting federally recognized as an existing tribe, even though we built the San Juan Capistrano Mission with our hands, muscle and blood. unfortunately, squabling over who’s the leader has lead to our band being left out of any real benefit of uniting.

My life goal is to own a large bathtub

It sounds a bit nuts, or a low ball of my abilities…but really since I was about 13 I haven’t fit into any bathtub. I figure that the point at which I have a house in which to put the tub, the finances to have a custom tub built to my specifications that I’ll be sitting pretty.

I used to be a Microsoft Paint artist

I was fascinated by geometric artists, and since I couldn’t really afford art supplies, I spent a good amount of time in high school, playing around with MS Paint and creating geometric drawings of various colors and shapes.

I want to be a Polyglot

Well, ok, if you have ever spent time with me at some point I most likely have said something to you in German or Japanese or French or whatever it is I’m studying at that time. A polyglot is someone who is fluent in multiple languages, here’s the run down of my current fluency.

• English, Fluent (Native language)

• German, Mostly Fluent ( Years of Practice, but still miss big words)
• Spanish, Conversational (Just enough to sound like I know more than I do and get in trouble)
• French, Tourist (Enough to kick around Paris with little problems)
• Japanese, Tourist( Enough to tell if the shop owner is insulting me * funny story when I visited Hawaii I went into a shop, and asked if they had an atm he shook his head and said in Japanese “mita no ginkoo desu ka” to his wife*Do I look like a bank?*, to which I replied “Gomenasai, ginkoo wa dooko desu ka?” *Oh Sorry, which way to the bank*…the look on his face was priceless!)
• Russian, Korean, Vietnamese, Thai, Hawaiian, morse code, sign language- thank you, good bye etc
• I want to learn xhosa(bushman/!kung), which is the language from The Gods Must be Crazy

I had a Teepee in my backyard

That’s right. A teepee. Well, wat can I say, when your father starts riding in the annual christmas parade, dressed in war paint and starts calling himself “Red Horse”, you really get a taste of your culture. My culture just happens to let me camp out in my own back yard where I practiced throwing knives and tomahawks.

I grew up in Yucaipa

Say it with me, “U- Cai- Pa”, not “U ca ipa” or “u cape a” . It’s a little town between LA and Palm Springs…known for…uhm…nothing remarkable at all. Our one joy is being slightly larger than Calimesa… Woot!

Alright well, I hope that was quite enough out of me about me, now for my victims..er next participants.

Jon Henshaw of Raven Seo

Brian Harnish

Michelle Rivera – My beautiful Wife

Brian Nelms (Yes, I’m aware that you don’t YET have a blog, but this is a push in that direction)

SMCuter

Erin Maher

annnnd… Alex Guillen